Dear Marciano,
Believe me when I say that I have hesitations in writing this blog at this very moment. I have so many raw emotions feeling all at the same time right now I can go blind. Well actually, I've been having these emotions since last week and I cannot contain it anymore. I have to let them out. It's just that, I want to write this without shedding a tear. And right now, I want to try. I've had enough crying the last few days and I think it's time to move on.
Today, you are 2 years and 4 months old. You are our little ball of energy, our pride. You are smart, quirky and the sweetest I have. The battle between stopping you from doing messy things and you doing them anyway is really tough. At this age you know what you want and once you set your mind on something, you have to get or accomplish it. Yes, I will admit that it is not easy to deal with someone so little yet so bossy but boy I will lie if I say that I don't admire you for that. People my age either don't know what they want or they don't know how to get what they want. I would like you to know that even though it is not fun cleaning after you every five minutes, we appreciate the experience you are giving us. We cherish every moment that you throw foods, toys and even glasses around because you will not do it for the rest of our life. This is just a phase of your life and we're glad that we're alive and healthy to witness and experience it with you. It is our privilege to experience something so messy yet priceless. With that, THANK YOU.
Have I ever told you how I love the innocence your eyes show? I wish it will stay forever so you won't be aware of the negative things around you. I love that you always see the beauty in others and think of them as something wonderful. I envy you for moving on so easily from getting hurt to giving kisses and hugs (you're lab lab hug is my favorite). That's why it makes me wonder how some adult can hate someone so innocent? How can they hate someone so young and naive from all the hurtful things the world has when all they know is that they are supposed to be loved and understood? How can someone disregard their own blood who can bring so much joy if they will not just focus on the things they don't appreciate? I just hope that when your innocence fades out, we have showered you with so much love and attention that you won't need affirmation from others.
The world that we live in is not full of good promises and sweet gestures. There are times that I want you back inside my tummy so I can be with you always and keep you from the not so good things the world brings but I can't do that, can I? The least that I can do is prepare for the day that you will face the real world, armed with morals such as honesty and integrity. You will eventually get hurt by people you know and maybe by some that you don't know. That's because I will make sure that you will grow with a kind and emphatic heart. It is normal to get hurt and feel hurt, you just have to make sure that the pain is worth it. I know from experience that it is not really easy to forgive right away, but you have to do it. Do it when you think it is the right time to do so. Don't push yourself to forgive someone just for the sake of doing so. Cherish the pain because that will be a once in a lifetime pain, we will not let it happen to you again.
Marciano, I promise that I will do my best to protect you from all the hurtful things the world brings until you can handle them yourself. You can count on me to defend you if you do right but correct all your wrong doings. I will give you 100% percent honesty even if the truth can break your heart. You have me, Lola and Lolo for as long as we live. You will never be too young to understand that our love for you is never ending, that we will do whatever we can to give you the best that we can offer.
Just always remember, we won't settle for anything we less deserve.
Love,
Nanay
No comments:
Post a Comment